what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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