Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
