please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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