You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
