Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
