butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
