Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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