all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
