so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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