I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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