You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize