im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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