Whod you bang
I will die if light touches me.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
