dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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