Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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