she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
