I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
