I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
