I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
