I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
it's like iHOP with fire
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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