And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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