wanna go halves on a baby?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Never joke about your clitoris.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
