AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
