You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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