You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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