dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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