the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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