I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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