he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
