its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
