with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
