do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
