put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize