K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he thought i was a dude.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
