You smell like a Billy Joel song
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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