So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
