Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he thought i was a dude.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
