Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
