god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
