We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
ugly people sure do ruin things
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
