and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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