Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
