Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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