I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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