Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize