Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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