I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
