The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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