Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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