I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
