i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
