I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
