we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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