3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
