spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
