Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
