is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
