Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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