I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
