Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
