"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
tell me about the eggs
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