1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
