playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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