Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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