she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
