apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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