yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
