she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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