3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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