he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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