I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Everything about him screamed your future.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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