Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
