I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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