If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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