i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Michael Bay diarrhea
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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