it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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