You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
