You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
