Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
