"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
