I'm really into asian looking animals
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
