she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If I die, sorry about rent.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
