she smelled like a LAN party
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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